Reddit Funny Videos Under 30 Swc9ds

I curated these funny stories from funny Tumblr stories. Get ready for a hurricane of LOL as y'all read all these funny brusk stories.

one. Now that's what I phone call stupid: In my junior year of high school, this guy asked me on a date. He rented a Redbox movie and made a pizza. We were watching the pic and the oven beeped then the pizza was done. He looked me dead in the eye and said, "This is the worst part." I then watched this boy open the oven and pull the pizza out with his blank easily, rack and all, screaming at the elevation of his lungs. We never had a second date.

2. The fake report card: I failed the first quarter of a class in heart schoolhouse, and then I made a fake report card. I did this every quarter that year. I forgot that they mail habitation the finish-of-twelvemonth cards, and my mom got it before I could intercept with my fake. She was PISSED—at the school for their error. The teacher likewise retired that year and had already thrown out his records, and then they had to accept my mother's "proof" (the false ones I made throughout the year) and "correct" the "mistake." I've never told her the truth.

3. All the fish: I went to this daughter's party the week afterward she trounce the shit out of my friend. While everyone was getting trashed, I went around putting tuna inside all the curtain rods and so like weeks went by and they couldn't effigy out why the firm smelled like festering death. They caught me through this video where these guys at the political party were singing Beyoncé while I was in the background with a can of tuna.

4. How to win at video games: When I was piddling, I would go along Nickelodeon.com all the time and they had this game like to Order Penguin, except information technology was called Nicktropolis. And if y'all forgot your password, a security question you could cull was "What is your eye color?" and if you got it right it'd tell you your countersign. And then I would go to popular locations in Nicktropolis and write downwards random usernames who were also in those areas, and and then I would log out and type in the username equally if it were my own and see which of these usernames had a security question fix to "What is your eye colour?" (Which was most of them, since it was easy and nosotros were all kids). I would so endeavour either brown, blue, or light-green, and always get in, then I would go to their house and send all of their furniture and decorations to my own accounts. And if I didn't desire information technology, I could sell it for coin.

five. Drama at my drama course: One time my drama form's instructor had gone habitation ill so nosotros were just put in a classroom with a moving-picture show to entertain us for the period when an alarm went off. None of us were sure if information technology was the burn alarm or the lockdown alarm, then we all head out into the hall to check and no one's out at that place, so we head back in and climb under our desks equally is lockdown procedure. Cut to an hour or so subsequently when a instructor bursts in and nigh dies of relief considering the school was on burn down and nosotros were the only students not deemed for and half the kinesthesia and fire department had been searching for us for ages. Literally, the whole school had filled with fume while we'd kept super safety under our wooden desks.

6. I drew a penis with a glue stick on the whiteboard: My whole form once got detention because I drew a penis with a glue stick on the whiteboard and when the teacher went to wipe off the board all the fluff came off and stuck to the glue. I never got in trouble for information technology considering my whole class found it too funny to tell the teacher information technology was me.

7. The twenty-four hours my teacher stole my headphones: During my sophomore year of high school, nosotros were doing silent work and my history instructor said that nosotros could listen to music only if it was as well loud he would "intermission our headphones." so I'g doing my work quietly with my music on depression, and this obnoxious child sitting next to me had his music really loud. I could hear it over my music but ignored it. My teacher thought it was me. And then he comes upwards to me & ripped my Brand NEW Apple headphones, looking ruthless. He suddenly realized it was the guy next to me and he was completely embarrassed. He came in the next day with a new pair and an apology note taped to them. He couldn't look me in the middle for the remainder of the twelvemonth.

8. Oh—semen: When I was in high schoolhouse, I was pretty quiet around people who weren't my friends. The high schoolhouse's wrestling coach also taught geometry, and he was my teacher. This resulted in a lot of wrestlers skipping course and barging into our classroom to hang out and not get in trouble. 1 day, vii wrestlers come in yelling about new wrestling uniforms, and how excited they were. When they go over and pull out the uniforms, the whole class is kind of side eyeing them. Even without what I mention next, the suits look funny. I mean, it'south tight regal bluish Spandex with a suspender style top. Absolutely funny already. But the wrestlers grab the uniforms and rush out of the room to get change in the bathroom, and come up back to show them off. Which, is also hysterical because Spandex hides Zilch; you could see all of their junk.

Anyway, we live in a town called Ocean City. It's commonly abbreviated as "OC". On the back of the Spandex compatible, it says Ocean City Men in large messages. Except… they used the abridgement. On the back, it says OC MEN. Which isn't awful, but and so I sound information technology out in my caput. OC MEN. Oh—semen. I almost spit out the water I was drinking.

I looked around frantically, trying to observe out who I can tell, considering I didn't have any friends to tell in this form. I plow to the girl next to me, and I had no idea who she was and had never talked to her before. I told her what I establish and nosotros both cracked up.

The whole time she saw me as the placidity instructor's pet who was shy as hell. The kickoff words out of my mouth were "It says oh semen."

We've been best friends for seven years now.

nine. Ow, my shit!: When I was a kid, I was always excited to acquire new vocabulary. When I was in first grade, my teacher taught me that "shin" was some other word for leg.

Later on that day, I was walking with my mom, when I tripped and hit my leg on the ground really difficult. I yelled out "OW, MY SHIN" although my mom heard "OW, MY SHIT." She started yelling about how that was a bad discussion and nosotros didn't say that word, and she was going to wash my oral cavity out with lather. I was a crying, bawling mess of a child, to the point I was doing that weird cry, stutter, hiccup noise. She paused in berating me and said "Who taught you that word?!" Of course, I told the truth and said "M-m-my teacher t-t-t-taught me that word!" and she started ranting about how she was going to telephone call the schoolhouse and get that teacher yelled at.

I tried to explain, "T-te-teacher said that shin meant leg I'k And then Pitiful ILL N-North-NE-ne-never say information technology once more." My mom got placidity and realized her mistake. "…What did you say?"

Of class I started crying harder and I said "NO it's just a test you're going to wash my mouth out with soap again."

When I finally calmed down plenty to say it again, my mom apologized and to this day I always say "shin" loudly just to encounter her face blush.

10. I swear to God he levitated: I take a friend who I've known since I was very niggling. One day, when he was six, I was at his house when he got this absolutely god-awful breadbasket pain. I mean, he was literally writhing in pain. So, his mom took him to the doctor's office, where the physician took ane look and told her to have him to the ER. She feared something forth the lines of an intestinal rupture. About half way to the hospital, my friend suddenly let rip the loudest, near powerful fart whatsoever of united states of america had always heard. I swear to God he levitated. We thought the upholstery in the motorcar seat had ripped. After a good 30 seconds of intense farting, he looked at his mom and said, "I feel all ameliorate now!"

eleven. We don't accept a fucking doorbell: So a couple years I moved out of country with a fellow. Was super excited virtually information technology but with reason had anxiety nearly being so far from friends and family unit. 1 of the ways my anxiety was coming out was with nightmares and dark terrors. I'd wake upwardly violently sitting up in a cold sweat, gasping and whatnot. On one detail night I had woken up the audio of our doorbell ringing. Which at 4 in the morning is fucking nerve wracking. So I shook my swain fully awake and told him I heard the doorbell and to go check information technology because I was scared. He quickly jumps up. Puts on clothes and grabs a bat. Goes all the fashion to the front door and opens information technology. I, scared shitless, am peeking around the corner watching information technology all become down. I see him step outside and I nervously await the verdict of the state of affairs when I hear him telephone call out to me. "Babe?" And I respond existent shaky, "Yes?" He stands in the doorway with a real frustrated tired look in his eyes and says, "We don't have a fucking doorbell."

12. The whole school thought I was going to star on Drake and Josh : In 2d grade, I told anybody that I was leaving school before side by side semester to motion to Hollywood to play Megan'south cousin from Vermont on Drake and Josh. At starting time I just told my best friend, merely then the whole school found out. I had people coming up to me and asking me for my shorthand and a teacher even asked for a flick with me. When I showed up on the first day of school in 3rd course, I told anybody that the show was going off the air later on the flavor finished (even though I had no noesis of when information technology was ending), and so they wouldn't need me. AND THE SHOW ENDED AFTER THAT Season AND EVERYONE BELIEVED ME Upwards UNTIL Similar sixth GRADE But NOW MY BEST FRIEND WILL NEVER Let ME FORGET ABOUT IT AND I'M SO Aroused.

xiii. Classroom Chaos: So in 8th grade I used to read during class a lot. At the fourth dimension I was reading an Artemis Fowl volume, and for some reason I had ii copies of the aforementioned book. So i solar day in my English class we were reading this other book (which I had already finished reading 3 days earlier), I was reading my ain book and when it was finally my turn to read, I had no thought where we were. So the teacher took my volume abroad, I establish my spot, read the part and passed it to the next person to start reading.

Then later on I read my role, I took out my 2d copy of Artemis and picked up right where I left off. Skip a few minutes ahead, gets back to my turn to read, and again I don't know where we are. So teacher takes a look at me, sees the book in my hands, so dorsum to her desk plainly confused for a second. But shrugs it off knowing it's me she'due south dealing with (I've caused similar issues like this before), takes my second book and puts it on her desk, and makes me read my part.

Now my friend that sat two chairs down from me was too reading Artemis at the same time as me and with a quick look to him he knew exactly what I was planning. He took information technology out and passed it over without hesitation. I opened to a random spot and just pretended like I was reading. (At this point it was just to mess with my teacher.)

And then skip forward once more and my instructor sees me with the book over again and says, "How many of those practice you accept?" I gave my smartass remark as "enough." She took away that volume, as well. But at present at this point I was out of books, and the rest of my class knew information technology. Simply the teacher didn't know I was out. So she continued with her lesson and another friend of mine took ii of her books and switched out ii of the Artemis books on her desk to make them await similar they were still there.

He passed the books slowly around the room, one at a time, until they were back to me. And then I took one out, opened to a random spot and just kept it open, waiting to get caught. I silently signaled to a few people in grade and they started laughing. The instructor looked at what they were laughing at and saw me with yet another book. She looked at her desk where there were seemingly 3 Artemis books and saw me with a 4th. She took information technology, walked back to her desk, put it downward, turned around, and saw me with the second volume that got taken back on my desk!!!

The teacher thought she was going to win this game only underestimated my teamwork with my classmates. And then the 2d she came over to me to take the seemingly 5th book, another classmate took back the other 2 books from her desk and carve up them up—sending ane to me one way, and the other some other way.

The teacher was very flustered and laughing hysterically at this point and there was no more teaching going on. The entire form was too going ballistic trying to see who would win. It was just a game of "How many books does this one 8th grader have?"

So at the end of the class she idea she had taken 11 books from me. I took pity on her and told her what was really happening. I told her that I had already read the kickoff book, and all the teamwork that went on. We were both laughing and making jokes. In the end she agreed to let me read my ain books equally long as I kept rails of the actual book we were reading. (Pregnant, I ask the person next to me tell me when it'southward my turn and they signal out my spot to read and then I don't actually have to continue track.)

14. Victoria's no longer a secret: So my oldest brother Ethan doesn't like wearing pants while at dwelling, he wears boxers (because he's a gentleman) but REFUSES to wear pants.

So one day nosotros're all just chilling on the couch when Ethan comes in wearing his boxers. My younger brother Eric asks if he can take off his pants also and Ethan says yeah, just make sure y'all have clean underwear on.

Eric leaves the room, goes upstairs, comes back 3 or 4 minutes later without pants in my underwear, and non just any underwear; Victoria's Surreptitious, MY VICTORIA'S SECRET (only girl in the family unit).

Ethan is laughing his ass off, Nate (next oldest brother) is rolling on the floor, and I'm just sitting there like WTF.

My dad chooses the best time to come in with guests, when one of his x year old sons is standing in the living room wearing his only daughters frilly Victoria's Secrets, his oldest isn't wearing pants, and the other ii sons are on the flooring dying.

The neighbors haven't come over since.

15. My favorite teacher: One time in 6th form we were at recess and while I was running to my friends, I just and so happened to kick a HUGE rock (keep in listen, I was wearing flip-flops so it hurt like hell) and without thinking, I shouted at the top of my lungs "MOTHERFUCKER!" And with my god-awful luck, my math teacher was sitting at the bench right BESIDE ME. He so took me inside to what I thought was yell at me but he just couldn't terminate laughing and sent me back outside with a literal candy bar. He is yet my favorite teacher I've always had.

16. Lotion male child: One fourth dimension in my chemistry form, while the teacher was talking, this guy asked loudly, "Does anyone have whatever lotion?" The teacher stopped talking as some girl gave him some hand lotion.

The guy proceeds to slowly rub the lotion on his confront equally the whole class watches him in confusion.

The teacher asks him what he's doing, and he responds with "I forgot to moisturize this morning" and puts even more on his face.

The instructor asks him to get to the hall to finish his moisturizing because he's being a distraction, and later about 10 minutes he however hasn't come up back in, so someone opens the door to check and he'due south all the same smearing lotion all over his face. He finally comes back in and easily the girl her lotion, and he's used up half of it. At present people phone call him lotion boy.

17. I never got to consume my Pringles: Okay, and then this was in fourth grade, and I was in this class with all these dumbass kids.

Here's the back story: My parents usually pack me fruit for a snack, simply on this twenty-four hour period they packed me like half of the leftover Pringles from the day before, you know, in that cylinder container. I was actually excited since I LOVE PRINGLES. Only when recess came around so I could take MY Pringles and become eat it exterior, they weren't in my bag. I started scoping the area, trying to find my Pringles. I call the teacher, she tries to find them but she can't either. Than this thought comes to my mind—What if MOIRA STOLE IT?

Moira was this chubby girl in my grade that literally ALWAYS wore this royal princess dress that should exist classified as a bad Halloween costume (seriously) and was known for being a bowwow.

Beingness the judgmental nine-10 year old I was, I directly out concluded that she must've stolen my damn Pringles. I just tell my teacher, "Well as well bad, I'll just go out for recess now. It was just PRINGLES." Beingness a niggling affections. And then I stomp out of the class and start searching for Moira. I'one thousand talking checking areas, finding witnesses, wasting my time. Then later a solid 10 minutes, I find a group of these kids crowded at the side of one of the portable classrooms. I rush over to meet what it is. The kids were eating Pringles. Barbecue flavored Pringles. MY PRINGLES. I start raging as I smack the Pringles out of the kids' easily and start ripping people away from the primary source. And in the middle of all the kids, sat a smug looking MOIRA with my PRINGLES. I look all mad and rip the Encarmine EMPTY CONTAINER OF PRINGLES OUT OF THE DAMN BITCH'S FILTHY HANDS. By now even dumbass Moira knows what'south up, she's a goner. I would've murdered her at the very least, simply a supervisor saw us and ran over.

Moira was forced to apologize and I was forced to accept her damn apology.

I never got to swallow my Pringles.

To this day I'k sure she fears my cold dead easily, ready to rip her lying face up off.

xviii. Why my parents can't take me seriously: And then ane time I was dwelling solitary and it was around dinnertime when I decided to make myself something to eat. I opened the freezer and dug around until I found what appeared to exist chicken nuggets in an unopened plastic handbag that for some reason, didn't accept whatever cooking instructions. Thinking that my parents must have thrown away the box for box tops, I called my mom to ask how long and at what temperature to cook craven nuggets. She told me both of them, I laid out about 20 on a tray and stuck it in the oven, setting the timer before I walked out of the kitchen. When it was about time to get my craven nuggets, I walked into a cinnamon scented kitchen. I searched all over that kitchen, trying to notice the cinnamon scent, leading me to the oven. I make up one's mind to turn on the oven lite to see if maybe my mom had stuck some cookies in the oven and forgot to bake them, but instead, I find that the tray my chicken nuggets were on has cookies on it instead! As I'one thousand trying to procedure what just happened, I hear the forepart door open and my mom shout delightedly, "Ooooo what'due south that odor?" She walks into the kitchen and catches my confused expression. That's when the spark ignited and she realized exactly what had happened. Somehow in some course, I had accidentally baked snickerdoodles. And that is why my parents can never take my cooking seriously.

xix. Painting a roller coaster: Then in my junior year of high school I got a project to brand a roller coaster for my physics form. Everything was going fine until the day my partner and I had to paint the matter. We were in my garage spray painting the tubes and these 2 guys come marching upwards to the house across the street and start yelling at the top of their lungs, beating on the door. At present let me say in my defense force the neighborhood I lived in was in southward Dallas and it's still not a safe place. Well I chosen the constabulary, closed the garage and parked myself in front end of the dining room window. Long story brusque the police showed up in full gear broke down the door and brought out the two boys at gunpoint. And that's the story of how my unabridged block found out that the abased house had new owners.

twenty. Jellyfish fiasco: So when I was like 9 I went to this aquarium thing and it was a pretty amusing trip overall. Simply and then all of a sudden I just kind of saw these jellyfish without any tentacles floating effectually in the water and was like "oh cool."

The next solar day at school, the teacher asked u.s.a. what we had done over the weekend. Now ordinarily I never raise my manus. Merely I did this fourth dimension. I fucking did it this time. The worst possible time. So I raised my hand and anybody was manifestly shocked to see my hand up in the air so the teacher said "aye?"

and afterward confirming the fact that she picked me I said

"I saw this jelly fish in the aquarium and I thought it was really absurd because it didn't have any -testacles-." and then like the classroom just emerged with so much laughter and I had no clue what was going on so I pleaded my friend to explain what was so funny I mean even THE Teacher WAS LAUGHING AND I WAS GOING WTF.

And then somewhen my friend explained to me (it literally took 2 hours of convincing) and so ofc I was pretty embarrassed but the thing is the fucking teacher then asked me if she could tell this to the other teachers and that'south the story of how I switched schools.

21. 8th grade games: So when I was in the eighth grade, scientific discipline class was the near tedious hours of my life. Everyone would play games on their computers (we used computers to take notes) but would play them in a super sneaky manner (book down, looking at the board so it looks similar you're taking notes, etc.). I wasn't ane for playing games during grade merely I was soooo bored…and so I searched up Pac-Man on Google and started playing (I didn't know what else to play).

So I started playing and just my luck I didn't cheque how loftier my volume was….IT WAS ALL THE WAY UP. I started panicking considering the game noises were excruciatingly loud. I kept playing and got eaten by a ghost near subsequently I pressed the start push (my hands were shaking similar crazy)….my strict science instructor looked me straight in the heart..

22. I literally "fell" for him: Since my crush sits behind me in class, when we stood upwards to practise the pledge I stood up as well fast and I stumbled over to him so to not fall on the ground I reached to take hold of his desk simply I accidentally GRABBED HIM and I ended up falling on top of him and nosotros both screamed. Luckily I didn't hurt or crush him. My teacher and everyone else started laughing and I got and then reddish afterwards. Now when we stand for the pledge, he moves all the way to the back of the room away from me…

23. fifth class teacher: In fifth grade, my teacher loathed me. She would do anything to make me cry and sent me to the principle'south office any run a risk she got. Don't believe me? I'g left handed. And then still, to this day, I get my hands confused. On this particular day, nosotros were doing the Pledge of Allegiance and I had put my left hand to my chest (it's supposed to be your right paw over your centre). She got mad at me, telling me that I wasn't beingness 'patriotic' and sent me to the principal's office. The principal and I were quite aquatinted at this point and so I told her why I was sent dorsum to her role once again, and she laughed. And laughed. I didn't find it funny at all, I hateful all the kids in my school idea I was a delinquent so they didn't want to exist my friend. My principal wrote on the dorsum of my easily, Fifty and R. What I didn't realize was that she wrote L on my correct paw and R on my left hand. She did the same to hers. Then, she walked me back to the classroom, and fabricated our whole class redo the Pledge with our 'right' mitt, with me leading the class, and information technology was one of the happiest moments of my unproblematic experience.

24. In the cupboard: OK, so 1 time when I was really piffling I had a all-time friend who was kinda strange simply then my mom got a telephone call one day asking if she was over at my house because they couldn't find her and so they call again about two hours later on to ask if we could help look for her and so about three hours of looking we had basically covered the entire neighborhood and they were about to call the police and we decided to bank check their house ane more time and my mom went into her room and institute her completely naked and sleeping on the top of a super tall shelf in her closet.

25. Cringey!: My best friend and I are super weird, and whenever either of u.s.a. encounter an bonny person we tend to take a picture of them and send information technology to each other, because why not?

Anyway, I was on a cruise ship with my grandparents, and I spot this super cute guy a couple years older than me. Naturally, I freak out a little, & I whip out my phone. Blank in mind I'one thousand saturday next to my grandparents in the middle of a crowded lobby.

So I open my camera, take a flick- and approximate what?

THE FUCKING FLASH WAS ON, WASN'T It?

I make eye contact with thus cute guy, expect at my Grandparents who both look extremely disappointed, and a few other people are looking at me. Obviously I left the room immediately.

26. Sporting appurtenances: So I have this wellness teacher who is really insane well-nigh exercise. This woman has done ironman triathlons, and talks about going to the YMCA at 5:00am.

Aye she'southward crazy.

Basically we have this project to pick a health goal to do for a month. Things like drinking water or doing squats. For that yous need some motivation so we were talking about physical things to reward ourselves with.

She decided to tell usa about her sporting goods fetish, where she goes into a store and buys a bunch of gear like they were books.
In the middle of this she of a sudden goes, "I actually like Dick's"
Realizing what she just said, she turned cerise and in a more placidity voice goes, "please don't tell your parents."

27. How bugs feel: When I was almost 5/6 my mom and stepdad bought my sis and I bikes for Easter. After church building they were like "do y'all wanna larn how to ride them?" And I was similar??? Duh?? I had finally gotten the hang of it and I was riding around the circle showing off, and my mom was like "say cheese" so I look over at her for a 2nd and I FUCKING RAM INTO A CAR AT FULL SPEED. A parked motorcar that I didn't even see, like at all, then I but rammed into this machine and I brutal off my bicycle and I was crying and all I could retrieve nigh was "this must be how bugs experience" like they're flying around living life and so SPLAT. Looking back that was my first existential crisis

28. In dreams: I've always had super brilliant dreams and it takes me a while after waking upwards to realize that they're non real. Sometimes, it's a disappointment simply generally I just forget nearly it and movement on. Now, in sixth course I had one really shut friend who I never really got into a fight with. One nighttime, I had a really bright dream where my friend and I had this huge falling out over something that I tin't even remember now.

I was really good at holding grudges considering I was not a forgiving child, and then for three weeks I completely ignored my best friend in anger to the betoken where she started crying in front of the teacher and he asked what was going on. Of class, as I'm telling the story I realize the events were super weird and that it was all a dream. I fall silent and but look at my friend who'due south yet extremely upset and don't know what to say considering I had fucked up and then desperately.

29. Sniffing candles with my all-time friend: And so my best friend and I were in a super market and there were a lot of new candles. They all smelled strange and then we started to think about names we could give them 'grandma's toilet cleaning agent' or sth like this. Any I guess we sniffed to much candles because we started laughing very hard and I lay on the floor and my all-time friend cruel into to pasta shelf which made us laugh even more and louder and people were already staring at us. Suddenly my brother's best friend stood behind us and from this twenty-four hours he'due south thinking that I'thou taking drugs.

I don't.

I just sniff candles with my all-time friend to flare-up out in laughter.

30. Skull lover: So I was sitting at a lecture when I feel like being stared at, and in the corner of my eye I encounter this actually handsome guy, who'south literally just staring at me. I don't recollect much of it and continue to heed to the professor. Subsequently the lecture the guy comes up to me, and lays his paw on head and I'm similar "eeeehm, what are yous doing" and he stares me dead in the eyes and says "I've never seen such a gorgeous skull" and and so he turns around and leaves.

31. All glowed upwardly: After the final bell, my friend and I were walking to our buses afterwards school through a crowded hallway. We were talking about childhood and reminiscing about erstwhile memories, and nosotros somehow started talking near which people became hot since centre school. My friend mentioned this guy named Keenan and I said "Yeah, he is pretty hot now," and my friend practically screamed "DUDE HE GLOWED UP So HARD!" ("Glowed upwards" means I estimate similar someone became attractive). Anyway, correct every bit she said that she turned her head and he was RIGHT Behind United states (this is then so very cliché but I swear to god in that location he was). Anyhow, right equally she saw him she screamed "OH! HE'S RIGHT THERE!". And OF COURSE he heard her, simply it was so awkward so he but walked past us looking down at his phone and my friend fell on the ground from embarrassment.

32. Chinese class: I took Chinese at schoolhouse equally a freshman. On one detail day, we didn't have anything to exercise in class since nosotros had gone through the whole curriculum for the semester. Our teacher wanted us to spotter a Chinese picture show in that free time, and I just then happened to watch one recently on YouTube. I offered to observe it, and my teacher let me use her computer, that was continued to a Promethean lath so that the whole grade could see what I was doing on the screen. After a couple of minutes of searching, I couldn't observe the movie since I didn't know the exact championship, so I logged into my YouTube account and decided to find it in my history. When I opened my history I was mortified since stupid me had forgotten that existence the awkward virgin that I was at the time I had searched upward tutorials on kissing and making out that previous night. The whole class was hysterically laughing, my teacher was extremely confused, and I well-nigh cried every bit I scrolled past all the kissing tutorials and finally found the moving picture. I went back to my seat and didn't speak to anyone in class for the rest of the week. I still oasis't lived it down.

33. Coca-Cola disaster: A couple years agone my friends and I were going to see a movie in the theatre at the mall. Instead of paying the ridiculous movie theater prices for pop and candy, we decided to go to target to buy some stuff. This was when Coca Cola started to put people's names on their bottles. My friend told me she had seen a canteen with my name on it within this bin of Coke. I was weirdly excited since I hadn't gotten one with my name on it still. Later on I had bought the drink, I opened inside target, and it exploded EVERYWHERE. The pop was at least five or six anxiety in bore. I watched as people passed the mess and made looks of cloy. Imagine if I had opened it inside of the theatre…

34. Panic! at the pothole: Once upon a time I had a friend that was going to a Panic! At The Disco concert and she promised me she would face time me so that I could sentinel with her. And then she messaged me at similar the center of the night telling me to answer her FaceTime call but I was at my neighbors house (which also happened to be my cousins house) and so I started running out the door and my sis followed me behind and was chasing after me. She asked me where I was going and so I started running equally fast as I could screaming
"Nosotros Have TO Go HOME, IM NOT GONNA MAKE It! I Demand TO Encounter, WHY CANT I Run into!?!"

Keep in mind that it's like midnight right well-nigh at present just I'1000 running and halfway through screaming. I stepped inside a pothole in my neighbor's lawn and completely fell in mud only I got right back upward and kept running, muddy every bit hell, trying to get to my house while my sister was dying from laughter behind me. That's not even the pitiful part, the sad part is my friends phone died and then I but saturday there with mud all over me at the dining room table staring at my blank telephone just waiting. I waited for almost two hours, refusing to take a shower even though the mud was starting to dry up. This was ii years agone and to this twenty-four hour period every time my sister sees the pothole she starts dying from laughter.

35. The toilet phase: When I was younger, around three or 4 years former, I had a phase of flushing things down the toilet. I would flush McDonald's toys I didn't want anymore or change I had establish in my room. the biggest and most hilarious affair I ever dumped was a gallon of milk. one twenty-four hour period I was bored and was looking effectually in the fridge depression and behold there information technology was, a new gallon of milk. my tiny body dragged the bottle on the floor all the way to the bathroom. I opened the cap, let it go into the toilet, and flushed. I thought I was smart enough to let it go unnoticed but I'll never forget what my dad yelled out when he walked in. "why in the hell is the h2o white?!" my mom plant the empty carton and just stared at me.

36. My mom'south thong: I mean solar day when I was 3 I decided I wanted to exist like my mom and habiliment "big girl" panties. I sneakily went through her drawer and grabbed the first thing I could find – a thong (I didn't know what it was at the time). She didn't know until we went to breakfast with some friends and took me to the bathroom. She still won't let me live it down!

37. Slappy trails: In one case in fifth grade, I was walking back to form from the bathroom. Before I continue, I should specify two things.

1. My classroom was literally just effectually the corner from the bathroom, side by side to the lockers.

ii. There was a boy that I had a beat out on for the past twelvemonth in my form.

Now for whatever reason, I was swinging my arms around in a wild half-windmill move. Don't ask me why, I was only filled with child-like glee I estimate. So at that place I was, swinging my artillery dramatically, then only when I got to the corner…

SMACK.

I had accidentally slapped someone in the face. It took me a second to realize who information technology was: my crush.

I was mortified, but he simply started laughing. To this day I can probably cite that every bit ane of my top impuissant/socially inept moments.

38. The ramen incident: I have decided to remain anonymous to protect my identity from the foolishness. final night, I became hungry and decided to make some ramen. I removed the various packets from the bowl, added the flavor and vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave.

After about a infinitesimal or two, I realized something was wrong. A terrible burning scent had filled my kitchen.

I opened the door to my microwave and…low and behold…I had neglected to add water. There was some smoke coming from the basin. Not wanting to waste the ramen, I went to the sink and added water, which filled the room in acrid smoke for several seconds. I then returned the bowl to the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it.

Well….It went okay for a fiddling while, until I discovered a globule of blackened noodles which had turned into some sort of strange crystalline substance yet seen in nature by humankind. I had a alter of centre.

39. First phone accident: When I was in the sixth grade my parents decided I should get my commencement jail cell phone because I was going to middle school now and things were unlike. It was a pink footling slide phone where you lot'd slide it sideways and have the texting keyboard and all. I took decent intendance of my phone and never needed a replacement. Well, flash frontwards to Memorial Day weekend. My family and another family went camping upward in Pennsylvania for the weekend. Well, one of the days we were up there my buddy, Oliver, and I decided to have the kayaks out on the lake. Genius me, decided she wanted to listen to the 4 Selena Gomez songs I had on my phone. I thought information technology would be a brilliant idea to put my phone in a plastic pocketbook to protect information technology from the h2o. When we got back from kayaking I took my phone out merely to find the bag was submerged in h2o. Nosotros had no rice or anything to save my phone so we tried laying it out to dry, not fifty-fifty fifteen minutes later information technology starts down pouring destroying my telephone even more. My mom ended up giving me her kickoff flip telephone which didn't fifty-fifty have a camera or the option to have music or photos transferred. Lesson learned.

forty. Little thief: When I was effectually four or v I was with my mom at this store ownership some Christmas gifts. equally we were leaving I saw these little plushy dinosaurs that fit perfectly in my hands. I grabbed two of them and stashed ane in each of my pockets. my pockets were so pocket-sized that they fabricated me look similar I had ii rumors on each of my hips. I yet think the rush of energy I got from actually leaving the store undetected. well, when my mom and I got to the car, she institute them and called the store dorsum and fabricated me apologize. I had the accented worst social anxiety when I was a kid so I was a absolutely sobbing, telling this poor employee how horrible a person I was. similar I was having a mental breakdown, it was so bad my mom apologized to me afterwards and bought me a nice shake!

41. Driver'south license: And then I was at the local DMV to get my commuter's license when my dad pissed off the lady at the counter. turns out she was the lady that had to do the actual route test with me. We go far the auto and I thought I was doing pretty well, until she starts freaking out? She has me pull over, tells me I'grand the worst drive ever. later on yelling at me, she demands I get back to the DMV. and the rest of the fourth dimension she is on her phone. When nosotros get there, at that place is a state trooper waiting for me. gives me a field sobriety test. Literally had to accept a sobriety test when I tried to get my license. At least I passed one test that day.

42. That one time I got lost: And so well-nigh a year ago, I was in Phys. Ed grade, and nosotros went around the neighborhood for a jog at the beginning of each class. I hadn't done it before because of medical reasons, just the teacher evidently forgot about information technology. I'k incredibly bad with directions and easily distracted, then I lost sight of the rest of the group and went completely the wrong way. I ended up being lost for Two AND A Half HOURS. the best role is that I single handedly changed my school's Phys. Ed policy.

43. Popcorn: My sister, mother, and I were waiting in a long line at the Sam's Club food court. The entire fourth dimension I was waiting, I was mentally rehearsing what my order would be "one slice of cheese pizza delight", my mind was repeatedly screaming at me. when we got up to the cashier to pay, I got distracted past his cuteness and then instead of asking for the pizza, I confidently said "i popcorn delight", which SAMs Order nutrient court has none of. Once I realized my mistake, I screamed out "noooo", loud enough for l people to expect at me. embarrassed, I ran away and my mom and sis had to bring me the slice of pizza from my finding place in the freezer section. To this day, I beg people to order for me when anyone remotely bonny is working the greenbacks register.

44. 50 shades of butt: And then to begin my story I should tell you that I work at a Medical Spa as forepart desk and my job entails mostly computer and client service related tasks. withal, I am as well there to aid the on shift technician, obviously not with the lasers every bit I am not certified, only with well…helping shaving clients to prepare them for their handling. So this particular Sabbatum I was asked to help shave a client'southward back, which was fine it'due south function of my job and I just needed to be professional person about it and it's something I've unfortunately had to do before as well so no big bargain correct? wrong. So I do the usual I put on my gloves grab a razor and brainstorm assisting the tech yet much to my surprise (and displeasure) the tech suddenly pulls downward the client's pants and underwear to which I am greeted with a hairy backside. Information technology is all I can do in my ability to keep from laughing from sheer shock. I'll spare you the details just allow'due south just say it was not totally normal colored…trying to stay professional person I then had to keep and hold the clients butt cheek taunt to shave it. I finished as through and quick as I perhaps could and booked it the hell out of the room. Later when I had to book the clients next engagement neither of the states could look the other in the eye considering of that traumatizing encounter. I volition probably never be able to alive down the moment I looked at the multicolored barrel correct in the cleft.

45. Thanks, Mrs. Miller, you the best: I time mode dorsum in sixth grade math grade I had to fart really bad. Me beingness the idiot that I am decided that it would be silent. Big surprise information technology wasn't. The only person talking was the instructor and she was interrupted by freaking cannon fire farts. She said she was disappointed I couldn't agree it in and proceeded to tell a story of how she taught a famous athlete who did virtually the same thing.

46. Weed birthday: Terminal year, during course, my algebra teacher let us heed to music while nosotros did our classwork and whatnot. Then, I was only jamming, being super confused on this one trouble and I look upward from my newspaper to ask my friend how to do it and EVERYONE is intensely looking dorsum and along betwixt me and another girl with their fingers on their noses. As you lot can imagine, I was super dislocated. And so, naturally, I also put my finger on my nose. Everybody yelled "OHHHHHHHHHH" and turns out, it was a "nose goes" thing and the other girl had to ask the teacher if she'd ever smoked weed on her altogether because it was 4/20…

47. That fourth dimension in freshman year: So I was always the person who'd endeavour to go out course really fast so I wouldn't always existence paying attending to some very crucial environs. So I'm sitting in math grade where our teacher makes us put our volume bags against the wall to the side of the room. The bell rings and existence that kid that wants to go out I don't bother putting all my stuff away and I just grab my RED haversack and I'one thousand gone. I get all the way to my science course and prepare the book bag at my desk when LO AND BEHOLD it'due south not my backpack. It's some other Also Cherry-red haversack that I had mistakenly took in my blitz to get to science. Then I have this mini freak out at my friend Seth sitting next to me. As a freshman and quite socially inept I decide not to really do anything most information technology until dejeuner which was adjacent block. I had some paper in my arms from terminal form so I decided to use those and figure out everything during luncheon instead of making a scene at like literally the beginning calendar week of my loftier school career.

And then we go into science class and since it's the starting time week we're ever doing the scientific method lesson before anything else. My teacher asks the class for a trouble we can apply to it right? Well estimate who raises his hand? SETH. At present my teacher adored Seth and so he gets called on and you know what his respond was?? "what if yous accidentally stole someone'due south backpack? like, yous thought it was yours and you didn't mean to take it" and my teacher was like why don't you tell me more than about this and then Seth goes "oh information technology's not my problem it's HERS" and POINTS TO ME. Consummate mortification. and even and then my teacher was confused thinking I had merely come upwards with the trouble but no. only if. I concur up the stolen backpack and my instructor had the well-nigh dumbfounded look like I take never encountered someone that failed at life more you. so he calls my math teacher yada yada I go my backpack. the worst part? We ended upward continuing with that scenario and took notes on the scientific method using the very trouble that I had created. my hypothesis? If I wasn't a consummate fail then I'd exist able to go my ain bag properly.

48. Virtual-reality self-prostitution: I used to play a game called Phantasy Star Universe and I would be my own pimp AND my own hoe. I had my main account (permit's call him Dudeman) and my hoe account (let's telephone call her Galchick). so there was like the main floor area and people would like endeavor to sell nudes for coin (in-game, not IRL) and I was similar "nobody actually does that… do they?" and so I made Galchick and I took off her clothes and then she was in her underwear, and then I said 1 affair on the main floor and some guy took the bait right abroad. he invited me back to his firm and I was like "omg I'grand deplorable, I'1000 new to this! how exercise you lot transfer money?" and he did it to testify me how… and and so he asked for my grapheme to teabag his and moan into the mic, and I was like a 15 year old boy, and then instead… I only blocked him and took the coin. that's when I realized my one, true calling. I did information technology for months and I'd transfer the money from Galchick to Dudeman and all my friends wondered how I had super expert gear. I miss that game everyday…

49. A total lord's day: Afterwards an exhausting, weeklong festival I was getting a lift back home in a motorcar full of my friends. We were coming up over a mountain road with a really cute ocean view only at sunset.

I'll never forget the burst that followed when I said "wow information technology's so cute, and it's even a full sun!"

I momentarily forgot that but moons take phases, and that the lord's day is generally e'er 'full' … my friends have never allow me live it down.

50. Socially awkward neglect: So one twenty-four hour period I was walking effectually, only chilling with my friends when I see this guy reading a volume. He was new there just the book was a book I read and LOVED.

So naturally I approach this boy hoping to brand a new friend and bond over the series. Being the socially awkward fail I am I planned out ahead of fourth dimension what I'd say: "Hey, we've [my friends and I] wanted to come over to say how-do-you-do cause I say you were reading a volume I liked and I hope we can talk more in the future."

Just no.

Once nosotros got to him I panicked and merely had to blurt out "We've come to howdy you." and I think my voice cracked and I nearly started to weep.

Never gonna talk to them once again.

51. Don't sit down on cold ground: And so a couple weeks agone, me and my friends were sitting on this cement kind of pedestal (as we called it) It'southward basically the steps up to the portable. (classroom that no i uses) and this weird supply French teacher comes up to us and says: you lot shouldn't be sitting on this footing, it'south too cold and it's bad for your ovaries. I asked her how or why and she said that if children sit on cold basis their ovaries will freeze and that nosotros won't be able to have kids. Now it'southward an inside joke between us about not sitting on cold ground.

52. Gay teacher: So almost a year agone we had to do a spoken communication about something nosotros were passionate about. These would then exist recorded to put on the school website. I decided to do one about gay rights equally information technology was not still legalized in my state. I decided to mention that I was gay during the speech, which wasn't that much of a surprise to people. In the stop it went really well.

So a couple of hours later, during lunch I was walking by the staffroom to get to the dejeuner hall when I heard my speech being played, being curious I stopped and I heard them replay "I am gay myself really" a couple of times over. Out of the corner I could run into my 6th grade teacher give my figurer studies teacher x dollars. Then suddenly, I sneezed really loudly, the teachers turned around and saw me standing in that location.

My 6th form teacher has pretty much gotten over it just my computer studies teacher refuses to make eye contact with me.

53. Strange student trauma: When I first moved from Republic of lithuania to America I was 5 years old and didn't speak whatever English. On the first day of kindergarten I was crying and so much that my teacher picked me up and let me sit on her lap, meanwhile the residue of the kids sat on the carpet in front end of me and watched me cry while she explained to them what was going on (in a language I didn't sympathise). Our school was three buildings put together, and the selection up was at the "blue" building merely my classroom was at the "red" edifice, and so they put a sign over my neck that said "I don't speak English and I'm going to the blue edifice" and sent me abroad to follow a oversupply of other kids. I'm all the same traumatized…

54. His face looks like the best chair: So in that location's this really hot child in my artistic writing class. And everyone knows I like him.

But ane twenty-four hour period, he walked in looking similar a freaking GQ model, and I accidentally out loud whispered "Shit, his face looks like the best chair" and the daughter who sits in front of me turned around and said "WTH, that'due south freaky and gross" and she moved her seat.

She gives me weird looks every fourth dimension she sees me at present.

55. Never article of clothing a dress in Chicago: And then when I was younger, my aunt was kind enough to invite me to come along with her to Chicago for my cousin'due south paintball tournament. I had never been to Chicago before, so naturally I had to go see the big urban center.

Just similar any other girl, I wanted to go all dolled up before walking around in front of people. I wore an extremely soft red dress that I was in honey with, and some wedges.

One thing that Chicago has plenty of is vents, and I ignored them considering the ones in my city are never on. This was a mistake, because I just and then happened to walk over one that was on. Only to be met with steam hot enough to fire leg hair off, and my apparel being blown up to my cervix around hundreds of other people.

56. SonofabitchAdam: I used to babysit this little boy who was a real handful. He was always in trouble and it seemed like every time his dad had to call him it went similar this…

Dad finds disaster left by Adam.

Dad yells out, "Son of a Bitch! Adam!"

1 day I have to selection upwardly Adam's older brother at school. A Catholic school.

His teacher, a nun, sees adorable picayune Adam with his chubby cheeks and confront like a cherub and asks him his proper noun and he answers flat out, "SonofabitchAdam."

57. Every bit it turns out, I am gay: When I was effectually 9 years old I was starting to get confused about my sexuality and then I would always look up "Are You Gay" quizzes on our family computer considering I was scared and confused, and my mom somewhen saw the searches in the history and confronted me about it. I lied nigh it and said I had accidentally clicked an ad. As it turns out, I am gay.

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Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2018/06/funny-stories/

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